Iv'e Seen So Much More Than You Know Love.............

The great theologian , Britney Spears, once said through song lyrics, "Ive seen so much more than you know, love, so don't tell me to shut my eyes.

These word have always stayed with me. I relate to them in a very intresting way.
In my crazy days I saw alot of the world. I saw and experienced things that I shouldn't have and sometimes wish I hadn't but ultimatley they have shaped me and created the stage for my salvation and future ministry. I have seen things up close and personal at ages one shouldn't experience such things. I have touched and tasted a life that the devil himself leads people to believe is fulfilling and good.

It amazed me that the Lord allowed me to marry a man as pure and innocent as Andrew. When we were dating he would often tell me to close my eyes to certain things (literally) or he wouldn't tell me a whole story or joke if it was crude. He was protecting me in the most Godly sense of protection. I look back now and appreciate that because in a way on the day I was saved, God restored alot of my lost innocence.

Andrew and I had a conversation the other day about the world. I had met with a friend who is not a Chirst follower. She had said something to me that shocked me. It was about her life and probaly wouldn't shock most people. It shocked me because of the nonchalant attitude regarding the matter. Of course, I disguised my shock well although inside my insides were fluttering. I told Andrew that I came home and thought about it and prayed about my reaction and was glad that I was so shocked. I felt that it was confirmation the Holy Spirit had a strong grip on my heart and life. Later in the week I read Jeremiah which added confirmation to what i had been pondering. He says this, "Are they ashamed of their loathsome conduct?
No, they have no shame at all;
they do not even know how to blush. So they will fall among the fallen;
they will be brought down when I punish them,"
says the LORD.

There it is "They do not even know how to blush." I am glad that through all I have seen that i have been restored and redeemed. I have been cleansed and renewed.sanctified, justified, and one day glorified. I am so glad that in this fallen and depraved world that I am still able to blush........

You Save Me Over and Over Again

I was first saved by King Jesus on a day in March 2001 while I was downtown Charleston in my dorm room. I don't remember the exact date, but it was life- changing. I have written about this night in explicit detail in my memoir. I am afraid it is too much to share right here..and I don't want to give all of the book up as I know all of you will rush out to buy it one day making it a best seller.

The most amazing thing to me in my relationship with Jesus is that He saves me OVER and OVER again. I look at my life and realize that our salvation isn't just a day or a date to be marked on a calendar but a process of being saved continually as we seek HIM.

Andrew and I look back on our marriage and marvel at how many times the Lord has saved us. He saves us from ourselves, from bad decisions, bad jobs, bad and negative relationships, bad financial moves....

There are so many circumstances we look at that were totally beyond ourselves. So many times our discernment and the holy spirit were promting us with a "no" or "get out" or "this isn't right" and we ignored it. Not out of disobedience, but because we truly didn't see a way out.

I have told Andrew multiple times that the Lord saved us from certain circumstances because we could never make the decision to get out or leave by ourselves.Andrew is such a people pleaser (self-admittedly) and hates to ruffle feathers or make changes that can cause conflict or even an incomfortable atmosphere. I think it is because of this that the Lord has saved us so many times. It was in so many situations specifically that we knew were not right..relationships that were negative...decisions we thought we were making that were of Him..and He stepped in and took care of it. It is amazing to look at..to see the Lord actually orchestrating circumstances that we had prayed about and not known what to do about....He is our Savior..

Now, This process of salvation has never been easy.These times of being "saved" have been trying to say the least, although we look back and can do nothing but praise HIM for getting us out and saving us from ourselves....There were times when we had no idea what was going on. When we wondered why we were being attacked..why our desires wern't being answered...why he wouldn't open doors..why he had us in certain circumstances....why we were having to deal with trying relational situations......or jobs or co-workers

He is Lord and He is SAVIOR...Because of our own sinful nature and desires...we often have cloudy vision and discernment. We are often at a loss of what to do in circumstances or with people ( and in ministry you meet ALOT of people!). But when we follow HIM he gives us grace and mercy which endures forever...and HE continues to save.....He is mighty to save.....