I have decided Jeremy Camps song beyond measure is the theme song to my life. It is so fitting.Its as if I could have written every line by myself. I feel so blessed in this season of my life. It certanly comes with its challenges- having a newborn and a three year old- exisiting on virtually no sleep and still trying to maintain a great marriage and home..I just feel so blessed..God is so good..He is so faithful. I am in a place where I am learning so much more and i can feel his presence so greatly in my life..
The lyrics are below for your reading pleasure:
The fog has finally cleared to see,The beautiful life you've given meTo feel the breeze of my newborn's gentle breathWith one to walk hand in hand,To share this life that you have plannedIt's like a storybook with dreamsThat are meant to see every next step is an extraordinary sceneI know that I've been,Given more than beyond measure,I come alive when,I see beyond my fearsI know that I've been given more than earthly treasure,I come alive whenI've broken down and given You controlI've faced a great tragedy,But have seen the works of what You bringA display of faith that You give,I don't know if I will ever understandThe depth of what it is You've done inside,But I know that I won't find any worth apart from YouI know that I've been,Given more than beyond measure,I come alive when,I see beyond my fearsI know that I've been given more than earthly treasure,I come alive whenI've broken down and given You controlEverything that I haveHas been given so unselfishlyAnd shown that even when I don't deserveYou always show the fullness of Your loveI know that I've been,Given more than beyond measure,I come alive when,I see beyond my fearsI know that I've been given more than earthly treasure,I come alive whenI've broken down and given You controlWhen I've broken down and given You control
Monday, April 7, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Mommyhood...
So I know this may be premature too say..but I LOVE being a mommy of two. Andrew and I came home from the hospital on a Saturday afternoon and he returend to work Monday morning..It was me and the boys from that point on...
After a year of preparing I was a little apprehensive about the change our lives were about to take bringing a newborn into the house. I think part of it was a fear of the unknown, wondering how I would handle the loss of certain freedoms again..mostly selfish things..
I had also witnessed people not handle the transition from one to two very well. I was getting geared up..hoping for the best but preparing for the worst..How would I handle lack of sleep and a super active toddler..how would the whole nursing thing work? How would I ever keep up with the house or errands or bills or taxes?
I have to say that thus far I am pleasantly suprised..I am more sleep deprived today than I have been for the last two weeks..and I am feeling pretty emotional but the last two weeks have been so fantastic. I feel like I have come into my element. I love this.I love my boys. I love this life that He has given me..
I think part of it is my personality. I love having alot to do. I love a challenge. I love that I have my moms "survivor" spirit that kicks in when most needed...but above all I feel the Lord sustaining me and giving me supernatural strength to make it through the day..I feel people praying for me and I feel so blessed.
After a year of preparing I was a little apprehensive about the change our lives were about to take bringing a newborn into the house. I think part of it was a fear of the unknown, wondering how I would handle the loss of certain freedoms again..mostly selfish things..
I had also witnessed people not handle the transition from one to two very well. I was getting geared up..hoping for the best but preparing for the worst..How would I handle lack of sleep and a super active toddler..how would the whole nursing thing work? How would I ever keep up with the house or errands or bills or taxes?
I have to say that thus far I am pleasantly suprised..I am more sleep deprived today than I have been for the last two weeks..and I am feeling pretty emotional but the last two weeks have been so fantastic. I feel like I have come into my element. I love this.I love my boys. I love this life that He has given me..
I think part of it is my personality. I love having alot to do. I love a challenge. I love that I have my moms "survivor" spirit that kicks in when most needed...but above all I feel the Lord sustaining me and giving me supernatural strength to make it through the day..I feel people praying for me and I feel so blessed.
Monday, March 24, 2008
New Life....
I feel you sustaining me in the still of the night
As I rock my child; you hold me tight
And as I look at the face of this new born son
I cannot fathom the depths of what you've done
A sacrifice I couldn't make
But I'm so glad that you took my place..
How is it that you love me; more than I love him?
When hes seemingly so innocent and I constantly sin..
As all of creation looks to you; I look at creation in my hands
What could it be; this life you've planned?
And as I abide in you for just a little while..
You make my world as new as this little mans smile
And sometimes I think about how close he is to you
Coming from your hands and placed inside my womb..
Just on the other side; I wonder
Did she hold him too?
Did she kiss his face and call his name; before I even knew?
Before the pink and blue....
(to be cont...)
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Cry From a Broken Heart...
Brought me to my knees
to fight for the sacred..its just about time
it comes crashing down..wholly broken and surrendered
Will I ever ever wear my crown?
Torn to pieces because two became one
Now my flesh cries out for the sake of our sons
Miserable surrender..but your saving me..
I want more for my boys so take it from this house
Anointed with oil..cast out in the dirt
I have never known this betrayal or the darkness of this hurt
5 years gone
We pay the price for the weight of our sin
How in the world did we let him get in?
Not in this place...with me by your side
Where do I go in whom can I hide?
Security no more...just naked, bruised and raw...
You think I am standing in the kitchen..
But I am curled up on the floor..
chasing corners in my mind..
and wanting so much more...
You were my protector but you wore my heart in shame
what was it that you had to gain?
It was from the broken glass I always had to hide
Each time made it reality of the deepest fear inside..
Never good enough for what I want to be
He reminds me I am his child and I can be set free
Come Lord Jesus and Give me Peace...
Hold me up Lord.I need your strength..
to fight for the sacred..its just about time
it comes crashing down..wholly broken and surrendered
Will I ever ever wear my crown?
Torn to pieces because two became one
Now my flesh cries out for the sake of our sons
Miserable surrender..but your saving me..
I want more for my boys so take it from this house
Anointed with oil..cast out in the dirt
I have never known this betrayal or the darkness of this hurt
5 years gone
We pay the price for the weight of our sin
How in the world did we let him get in?
Not in this place...with me by your side
Where do I go in whom can I hide?
Security no more...just naked, bruised and raw...
You think I am standing in the kitchen..
But I am curled up on the floor..
chasing corners in my mind..
and wanting so much more...
You were my protector but you wore my heart in shame
what was it that you had to gain?
It was from the broken glass I always had to hide
Each time made it reality of the deepest fear inside..
Never good enough for what I want to be
He reminds me I am his child and I can be set free
Come Lord Jesus and Give me Peace...
Hold me up Lord.I need your strength..
Saturday, January 26, 2008
A Diet Coke Culture
We want the taste without all the calories. We want the results and the rewards without putting in the work. We want the best but want to give the least. This is the culture we live in today. We are constantly seeking short cuts…to get out of debt, to make money, to lose weight…have they found that magic pill yet? The key to getting in shape gets shorter and shorter. Instead of putting in the hard work that comes along with eating healthy and exercising we are being sold “the 3 hour diet” and “the 12 second sequence.” Why do 3 sets in the gym when you can get results in 12 seconds?
Even the technology that comes out allows us to make shortcuts. Instead of calling people to say “hi” or to talk over a problem; we receive or send emails and text messages. Technology has allowed us to debate in forums online and to “attend” small groups without even leaving the comfort of our own home. Our communication is becoming more and more impersonal and our relationships are going to suffer because of it.
It’s a diet coke culture- the illusion of being satisfied for very little. We are taking shortcuts and buying into things that taste good and seem good but are ultimately poisoning our souls and our relationships. How many of us have refinanced our homes to pay off debt? Only to get in more debt… or bought something from an infomercial that promises a “quick change” or a “new you.” Only to find out we got ripped off… I know I am guilty.
In an attempt to “simplify” our lives we have actually made them more complicated. Instead of being satisfied with a cell phone that we can carry anywhere.. we want the one that takes pictures, emails, and connects to the internet. We aren’t satisfied with the new car- we want the one with the gps, the dual dvd players, and all the other stuff that I didn’t even know I needed…because it will make my life “easier.”
My question is does it make life easier? I think more often than not the very things we think will simplify our lives and relationships actually make them more complicated…Jesus said he came so we might have and enjoy life in abundance... and his principles are simple…simplicity is powerful…and my goal is to embrace that as I embrace a life that glorifies him..
Even the technology that comes out allows us to make shortcuts. Instead of calling people to say “hi” or to talk over a problem; we receive or send emails and text messages. Technology has allowed us to debate in forums online and to “attend” small groups without even leaving the comfort of our own home. Our communication is becoming more and more impersonal and our relationships are going to suffer because of it.
It’s a diet coke culture- the illusion of being satisfied for very little. We are taking shortcuts and buying into things that taste good and seem good but are ultimately poisoning our souls and our relationships. How many of us have refinanced our homes to pay off debt? Only to get in more debt… or bought something from an infomercial that promises a “quick change” or a “new you.” Only to find out we got ripped off… I know I am guilty.
In an attempt to “simplify” our lives we have actually made them more complicated. Instead of being satisfied with a cell phone that we can carry anywhere.. we want the one that takes pictures, emails, and connects to the internet. We aren’t satisfied with the new car- we want the one with the gps, the dual dvd players, and all the other stuff that I didn’t even know I needed…because it will make my life “easier.”
My question is does it make life easier? I think more often than not the very things we think will simplify our lives and relationships actually make them more complicated…Jesus said he came so we might have and enjoy life in abundance... and his principles are simple…simplicity is powerful…and my goal is to embrace that as I embrace a life that glorifies him..
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Its Not in YOUR control.....
You know I write these blogs when something is burning inside my heart- and its not the heart burn that comes with being 7 mos preggers... It is not my desire just to vent and let you know what I have been learning or struggling with but it is truly my desire that someone will read this and will be ministered to...that they may be in the exact season where this is a word for them....
How often do we worry? I personally struggle with anxiety and worry alot. I think alot of it is in ones personality as to whether they are a worrier or not. I am. Andrew is not. But as adults and Christ followers we can make the decision to CHOOSE not to worry. My life long struggle with eating disorders, I believe, is rooted in anxiety...and that is something I can choose to overcome..
There are so many dimensions to "worry" it is amazing. We engage in it more often than we even realize. Have you ever thought about those situations that make you angry when it comes to another believer as "worry."? To get angry over what someone has said, or didnt say? what someone was wearing? How so and so spends their money? that this person watches this tv show or that one? Or listens to this kind of music? havn't you ever gotten angry about how someone else lives their life? I am talking one believer to another....we are so quick to judge each other..and I am not talking a righteous anger...when we hear or see someting that just ticks us off.... and we dwell on it and play out scenarios and wonder "how in the world could they do/think/say/believe that?....
Jesus tells us that by worrying we can not add a single hour to our life...When I get to the end of my life I want to have spent as few minutes and hours worrying about things that are out of my control as possible. Sure, people are going to do things that tick us off, close friends are going to do things we don't approve of, organizations are going to thrive that are ungodly, politicians may be put in office that didn't get our vote, fellow beleivers are going to hurt us....But it comes down to this: How other people live and what they do is not within our means to control and therefore worry about....All we can do is live our lives and choose to respond in a way that is honoring to the Lord. I believe it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said that noone can make you feel inferior without your consent....How we respond and act is our choice....the choices others make are ultimatley their own and will be for God to judge....take a load off and stop worrying about other people...live your life...He has given you a blessed one....
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
How often do we worry? I personally struggle with anxiety and worry alot. I think alot of it is in ones personality as to whether they are a worrier or not. I am. Andrew is not. But as adults and Christ followers we can make the decision to CHOOSE not to worry. My life long struggle with eating disorders, I believe, is rooted in anxiety...and that is something I can choose to overcome..
There are so many dimensions to "worry" it is amazing. We engage in it more often than we even realize. Have you ever thought about those situations that make you angry when it comes to another believer as "worry."? To get angry over what someone has said, or didnt say? what someone was wearing? How so and so spends their money? that this person watches this tv show or that one? Or listens to this kind of music? havn't you ever gotten angry about how someone else lives their life? I am talking one believer to another....we are so quick to judge each other..and I am not talking a righteous anger...when we hear or see someting that just ticks us off.... and we dwell on it and play out scenarios and wonder "how in the world could they do/think/say/believe that?....
Jesus tells us that by worrying we can not add a single hour to our life...When I get to the end of my life I want to have spent as few minutes and hours worrying about things that are out of my control as possible. Sure, people are going to do things that tick us off, close friends are going to do things we don't approve of, organizations are going to thrive that are ungodly, politicians may be put in office that didn't get our vote, fellow beleivers are going to hurt us....But it comes down to this: How other people live and what they do is not within our means to control and therefore worry about....All we can do is live our lives and choose to respond in a way that is honoring to the Lord. I believe it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said that noone can make you feel inferior without your consent....How we respond and act is our choice....the choices others make are ultimatley their own and will be for God to judge....take a load off and stop worrying about other people...live your life...He has given you a blessed one....
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Whats is a name?
I have always been fascinated with names.It is usually the first thing we get to learn about someone we meet. It often carries with it a family tradition or a story. When I was pregnant with Roman I couldn't fathom the responsibility that came with naming a son. I scoured baby name books and the bible. I prayed and sought wisdom...I knew I wanted something bold and strong.I wanted something with a meaning that he could grow into...a story he could learn.. With this next pregnancy I wanted no different...a future warrior for Christ would need a bold name, I thought...
I have been studying the name of Jesus this week. This name that we call upon in prayer,..for healing..in despair...and in praise...the name that is above all names..., Jesus. I always cringe when I hear someone misuse this name....the name that is so powerful..the name that could move mountains for them if only they knew....
In biblical culture names were chosen for meaning or for prophetic reasons. Jesus was named "savior" because he was to save people from their sins. I love that in biblical times Jesus was a common name...HE did after all come to save common people...like me.
Do we really understand the power that is in the name ,Jesus? I think too often we tack it onto the end of a prayer or say it when we are supposed to. But when we have faith behind it and in it..the name,Jesus, enables us to live a life with power and purpose.
The early church was hoppin' with activity. healings and exorcisms heappening all over the place. I believe that these early Christians knew and understood the power in HIS name..and they used it...they released faith in this name and they experienced miracles because of it......
The name of Jesus- I have never experienced anything more powerful than His name. It is the name above all names (phil 2:11). There is life in HIS name (John 20:30-31).. It is the name that has the power to save (Acts 4:30). I get chills knowing that one day every tongue will confess His name..(phil 2:9-11)...Jesus !
I have been studying the name of Jesus this week. This name that we call upon in prayer,..for healing..in despair...and in praise...the name that is above all names..., Jesus. I always cringe when I hear someone misuse this name....the name that is so powerful..the name that could move mountains for them if only they knew....
In biblical culture names were chosen for meaning or for prophetic reasons. Jesus was named "savior" because he was to save people from their sins. I love that in biblical times Jesus was a common name...HE did after all come to save common people...like me.
Do we really understand the power that is in the name ,Jesus? I think too often we tack it onto the end of a prayer or say it when we are supposed to. But when we have faith behind it and in it..the name,Jesus, enables us to live a life with power and purpose.
The early church was hoppin' with activity. healings and exorcisms heappening all over the place. I believe that these early Christians knew and understood the power in HIS name..and they used it...they released faith in this name and they experienced miracles because of it......
The name of Jesus- I have never experienced anything more powerful than His name. It is the name above all names (phil 2:11). There is life in HIS name (John 20:30-31).. It is the name that has the power to save (Acts 4:30). I get chills knowing that one day every tongue will confess His name..(phil 2:9-11)...Jesus !
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