Random Thoughts 2

Since so many people enjoyed the last one..here we go..10 mins on the clock.

thinking about quitting facebook and blogging. For such a private person it overwhelms me that so many people know so much...but I want to be open and transparent..i know occcasionally these things bless others.I just hate superficial communication and people feeling like they "know" you when they don't. Anyway, having a rough week. Seeking out my mentors to bounce things off of. Always want to be propelled forward into being better and living out loud and crazy for Jesus...hate feeling stuck..love psalm 103. He forgives ALL your sins and heals all your diseases. We have so many diseases don't we? Escapism is a thorn in the flesh.Escaping to anything other than Jesus. So this is kind of gloomy but thats how my mood has been lately. Praise God he lifts us out of the pit and renews our strength. God- how do people live without the hope that we have? Burger King for dinner..made the boys eggs. I don't even wanna know how much i spent on me eating out this week. At least i only spent fifteen bucks on groceries.Finding out if this baby is a boy peanut or girl peanut in May. Not that anxious..was so anxious with Jude..just started out Prep for toddler class...the GFI ministry and al the parenting classes at church has truly changed our lives. Forever grateful to the Ezzos and the work God is doing through them..grateful for new and transparent and real friends..building up my family around me...and mourning continually the loss of my sweet mom who passed on March 29th...does it ever get easier? no. I hate it for all the other motherless daughters out there.my heart is with you..you are forever changed and your world is never the same. I deal with closing myself off but trying to reach out to women I admire who can pour into my life. regretting the BK. looking forard to a relaxing weekend. Maybe the last blog post? we'll see...

Random Thoughts

Here are some unedited ramblings.....Proceed With Caution..for the next 10 mins going to type whatever comes to my head....


Wondering why all the good music today has such scummy lyrics...by good I mean stuff I want to listen to on the treadmill......thinking facebook may be an addiction..but where else can i talk and recconect to my childhood friends in England and PA. ..it would be so nice to do nothing but pklay with my boys all day long..speaking of which...so blessed to be a part of a church that directs us to bibvlical based parenting..it has made a huge diffence inour marriage and family..as well as in the boys.... hangtail hurts...back hurts..andrew went to get me a pizza even though i didn't weant it ..not feeling like eating..he kept soundling off stuff and b/c I paused at pizzza he ran out the door....ugh...i think he wants to faten me up or something ;-) going to dream center in the morning..hoping to see some new babies...so badly want more time to write all these great ideas I have down...especially one onfriendship i feel like i have learned alot over the last few years..and was talking toa girlfriend abou it yesterday....middle school is complicated but man, we canmake our adult relationships complicated....want to read so many books..wish i had photographic memory....thinking the baby is a boy...we had NO more boy baby names and thenm all of a sudden we had a first and middle..with the meaning we wanted- wondering if it was a god given name....both boys are named for the "season" we were in life....pizza is here...back still hurts...how come andrew always is "off the clock" and MY work is never done...hmmmm...time to pull the "pregnant" card.later taters.

NOPE

I don't get on my soapbox often but this is one issue I feel strongly about. I don't know if I would have gone as far as to call myself a one issue voter in the past but things change. If you don't value life then what do you value?I think where one stands on this issue says a whole lot about their character and their relationship to their creator. A very wise woman recently said to me "I will not have to stand before my creator one day and acknowledge that I voted for someone that made a mockery of HIS commandments."

Seriously- i like what these journalists have done. Check out the video clips...my personal "favorite" is him calling a baby "punishment" and then voting against the Born Alive Infant Protection act three times...I seriously hope Americans do not think it is going to be okay to let someone that thinks its better to leave an aborted baby that "accidently" lives lying on a table to die- as it is more convenient.

http://hotair.com/archives/2008/10/21/the-comprehensive-argument-against-barack-obama/

Here are two thing I came across today. I have neither the time or energy to write what I would about each... But I thought I would go ahead and post...

Creating Moments....

As I watched my mom die over a period of a few days there are things that she said that remain with me forever. ..These are the kind of things that if an unbeliever would have watched her leave this flesh he may have reached out to recieve the salvation she was embracing...some of these things I am going to keep in my heart but one of them I will share with you here.


Hollywood has always depicted images of ones life flashing before their eyes when they are passing over to the "other side." I had never thought much of that until I experienced these last moments with my mom. As she faced the last few days of her life she started to reminesce about various times and events in her life. As a young fifty year old women facing the end of her life she reflected on some memories. As she laid these moments out before me she was fading in and out of conciousness. At one point she told me how she was ready to go to be with Jesus and a day before she died she described how she saw Him and was walking with Him...I love the visual of my Lord that she left with me as she left me to be with Him. One of the moments in her life that she reflected on was of her and my dad as a young married couple returning home after an evening out and dancing to "lady in red." Mom described the scene and how romantic it was...a simple event but it had stuck with her throughout her whole life and remained at the forefront of her memory as she readied herself to exit this life.

I think about this often when I am making decisions and going about my day...about creating moments in life...One of my greatest fears is that I will grow old and look back on my life and have regrets..

I want to actively and purposefully create events in my life that will stay with me and be so bold that when I look back on my life I can smile and say "remember when...."

Most of the precious moments we create for ourselves are done so because we took initiative, we stepped out , or stepped back, or gave of our time or resources, or turned off the TV, or inconvenienced ourselves....these are the things that create opportunities to create moments that have the potential to be so strong they change our lives and eterntity forever...

What moments are you creating today?

update

Thank you all for your comments, emails, and prayers! I have actually been feeling better especially as far as the anxiety goes. It really varies from day to day..it seems I am either having a really good day or a really bad day- very little middle ground! well, I am off garage saleing- one of my favorite things to do!

Phillipians 3:10

I want to know Christ and the POWER that raised HIM from the dead.